Wednesday, November 9, 2011

30 days of gratitude - days 6, 7, 8, and 9

Today I play catch up on my grateful days. You know why? Because this one is a big one. So big, I can barely write this without getting all emotional.

I am thankful I am learning how to be an Occupational Therapist. I'm feeling giddy just typing it. But more than just thankful to be in the program, I am thankful for the entire process ... everything from the decision to go back to school up until now. I've had some amazing experiences, met some remarkable people, made new friends, and climbed a few personal mountains. It's been a game changer.

A year ago I was taking a couple prerequisite courses, filling out my grad school application and studying for the GRE. 

Today, I got to learn about the therapeutic use of self, motor planning, and discussed ALS, MS, and Parkinson's Disease.

I'm doing it, guys. I'm here. I'm in the program. I am loving it. I belong here. I feel like I am meant to be an OT. I can't even tell you with words how much this experience has changed my life. 

I have struggled a lot in the past with my identity. I played softball my whole life and I decided to quit going into my sophomore year in college. Looking back, I see that it was most likely my fear of failure that led me to quit. After that, I had a really hard time finding anything I was passionate about. I was lost, insecure, and constantly morphing my interests depending on who I was hanging around. 

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a passion for something. The whole experience of going back to school, putting myself out there for rejection, focusing all of my time, energy, and money on a goal has helped me find who I am. I am extremely passionate about Occupational Therapy, but I'm also passionate about cooking, and diy projects, and learning about style, and bodyrocking, and being a better friend, and being a better wife, and rediscovering what it means to follow God, not being afraid of failure anymore, and learning, oh learning, I love learning new things! That feeling I get when a new concept finally clicks, that is what gets me through 18 hours of studying over the weekend! I'm using my brain, thinking for myself, and finally feeling like I have something to say. 

Like I said, this was a big one for me. I don't even want to think about who I'd be if I hadn't decided to take that jump and go back to school. So much good has come from it. 

I know that someday, when I'm telling my life story to my grand kids, I'll look back on the years surrounding this experience as a pivotal point in the direction my life took. Though I don't know all the good that will come from it, my heart is already bursting with all the awesome that already has. 

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