30 days of gratitude - days 6, 7, 8, and 9

Today I play catch up on my grateful days. You know why? Because this one is a big one. So big, I can barely write this without getting all emotional.

I am thankful I am learning how to be an Occupational Therapist. I'm feeling giddy just typing it. But more than just thankful to be in the program, I am thankful for the entire process ... everything from the decision to go back to school up until now. I've had some amazing experiences, met some remarkable people, made new friends, and climbed a few personal mountains. It's been a game changer.

A year ago I was taking a couple prerequisite courses, filling out my grad school application and studying for the GRE. 

Today, I got to learn about the therapeutic use of self, motor planning, and discussed ALS, MS, and Parkinson's Disease.

I'm doing it, guys. I'm here. I'm in the program. I am loving it. I belong here. I feel like I am meant to be an OT. I can't even tell you with words how much this experience has changed my life. 

I have struggled a lot in the past with my identity. I played softball my whole life and I decided to quit going into my sophomore year in college. Looking back, I see that it was most likely my fear of failure that led me to quit. After that, I had a really hard time finding anything I was passionate about. I was lost, insecure, and constantly morphing my interests depending on who I was hanging around. 

For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a passion for something. The whole experience of going back to school, putting myself out there for rejection, focusing all of my time, energy, and money on a goal has helped me find who I am. I am extremely passionate about Occupational Therapy, but I'm also passionate about cooking, and diy projects, and learning about style, and bodyrocking, and being a better friend, and being a better wife, and rediscovering what it means to follow God, not being afraid of failure anymore, and learning, oh learning, I love learning new things! That feeling I get when a new concept finally clicks, that is what gets me through 18 hours of studying over the weekend! I'm using my brain, thinking for myself, and finally feeling like I have something to say. 

Like I said, this was a big one for me. I don't even want to think about who I'd be if I hadn't decided to take that jump and go back to school. So much good has come from it. 

I know that someday, when I'm telling my life story to my grand kids, I'll look back on the years surrounding this experience as a pivotal point in the direction my life took. Though I don't know all the good that will come from it, my heart is already bursting with all the awesome that already has. 

30 days of gratitude - day 5

I've never, ever, ever been so happy to get an 82% on a test.

I worked dang hard for that 82%. The best part is, I don't have to take the test again. For all of our tests we're required to get at least a 75% or we have to retake it. This was the first time I turned in a test and thought, "oh, I hope I passed...".

So today, I am thankful that I don't have to retake my neuro exam.

And for something non-school related: I'm thankful that  I got to have a coffee date with a good friend this morning. I haven't gotten to see her in months and it was great to catch up.

Also, I'm grateful that I have time to make dinner today. And that we have a new Trader Joe's. They sell tortillas that don't have partially hydrogenated oils. And their produce is great. And I'm thankful I can shop on Tuesday morning when it's not packed. Seriously, there were like 8 people in the store.

30 days of gratitude - day 5

There's nothing like talking a walk with a good friend to get some drinking chocolate on crisp, fall day. Especially if it was after taking a neurology exam. I ashamed to admit this, but this was the first day I felt like I've gotten to experience fall. And I am so thankful I got that experience before all the leaves are off the trees and snow starts falling.

So today I'm thankful for fall, drinking chocolate, long walks, and good chats.

30 days of gratitude - day 4

It became apparent to me  very quickly what I was thankful for today.

I'm thankful for TJ. 

Tomorrow I have the hugest neurology exam ever. (okay, maybe a slight exaggeration) 

I told TJ I wouldn't be going to church this morning because I needed to study. He was totally supportive. 

I was studying at a coffee shop while he was at church and I realized I had forgotten my giant white board that comes in handy for studying stuff like this. I asked if he would stop home and get it for me, and he did. (I didn't even end up using it then)

Then, after I got home I ignored the pile of dishes and clutter gathering in our apartment and hauled up in our study room to...well...study. (I guess that's why we call it our study room). When he got home he did the dishes and de-cluttered the apartment. 

I was hungry, but didn't want to cook. We don't eat out very often, but he willingly went and got chinese for us, which, come to find out, is a very difficult task on a Sunday night in Spokane. 

Then what did he do after he got done eating? He continued to clean. 

And what's he doing now? Baking bread for the week. (2 months without store bread!)

And what's he going to do later? Quiz me from my study guide. 

Talk about a totally selfless guy I married. For reals. It's not like he couldn't be doing his own homework, or playing guitar, or whatever. Instead he chose to make my very stressful day a little less stressful.

30 days of gratitude - day 3

After studying neurology for 8 hours today, I can honestly say that I am so thankful for my brain. 

Our brains our amazing. They allow us to learn a new skill, think critically, move our bodies, talk, perceive with our seven senses, feel emotions, form new habits (for better or worse), keep our hearts beating and our viscera functioning, and contain all of our experiences and make us who we are. It's astounding and I'm completely awestruck and the complexity of this pliable, jelly-like, convoluted organ. 

And I'm thankful I've been given a chance to actually use my brain. I'll hopefully go in depth on that another time. But, the weirdest thing is knowing that my brain is working to learn about the brain. That's just trippy. 

30 days of gratitude - day 2

Not sure yet how I'm going to make up the 2 days I'm behind. Maybe I'll go into December? Or maybe I'll just have a day where I'm extra- super-duper thankful and I'll make them up then. For now, I'm on grateful day number 2.

And today I am grateful for my work schedule. I have a classmate who has 3 jobs, a wife, a daughter, and a son on the way. The same amount of school work is expected of us. Class time, homework, group projects... and he somehow manages. In fact, he never even complains.

I'm thankful for my one, eight-hour shift a week. I'm thankful that's all I have to do. That I can still occasionally spend time with TJ, have a lazy night once in a while, and sometimes even get together with friends. All-in-all, it's not too shabby.

30 days of gratitude - day 1

I know I'm a couple days behind, but I've decided to play along. Between classes and homework and more homework and the occasional cleaning, it's hard to take a breath to think about anything else. Hopefully this will force me to take a step out of my tiny world and reflect on what's all going on around me...to help me open my eyes to what I can be thankful for.

I have two great friends, both named Bethany. One  has been a life-long friend who lives 1500 miles away. The other one is going through this crazy grad school program with me. Even though I've only known her 4 months, we just clicked. Instantly.

Today I got a sweet message from long-distance Bethany that totally made my day. I also got to have a deep, wonderful, much needed conversation over sparkling water with my grad-school Bethany. Both helped to lighten a particularly stressful day. 

So today, I am thankful for my Bethany friends!